I said I wasn’t going to do it.  I wasn’t going to write a review of the Lumberjack Show in Epcot because I didn’t like it and I don’t usually write negative reviews.  I try my best to write balanced reviews that highlight the good and, if any exists, the not-so-good about rides, resorts, restaurants, shows, and so on.

But every single time I look at the shattered screen on my brand new iPhone 6, I think about the Lumberjacks.  Weird, but true.  See, it all started like this……

Raymond and I found ourselves with a few spare minutes to leisurely stroll through Epcot one morning.  I checked the times for the Lumberjack Show since we were very close to the Canada Pavilion and I was very curious about this new and, well, somewhat controversial show.  The stage’s curtain was down, but we could hear show preparation noises going on behind it and decided to see what all the fuss was about – but on that day, there were no benches in front of the stage.  Those showed up the next day, oddly enough, but in the absence of seating, we moved to the far right of the stage and sat on the edge of some sort of landscaping wall.  I was wearing new pants – really adorable (if I do say) camo crops from Anthropologie and when I sat down, I set my phone on my lap.  Well the fabric of my new pants was actually more slippery than I anticipated and my phone slipped right off my leg and onto the concrete.  UGH!  I’ve had an iPhone for at least the past 5 years and have never ever even cracked a screen.  To put it mildly, I was really sad.  Raymond bought me that phone and I’d had it a month – now it was still usable, but marred.  Sigh.

Not one to let my day be ruined by a mishap, I turned my still open-minded attention to the beginning of the show.  The show opens with a host who introduces a couple of two-man lumberjack teams – the blue team and the red team as indicated by the color of their plaid flannel shirts.  It was very hard to see!  The interior of the stage is small and quite dark; shadowed by the canvas cover that surrounds it.  I could hear the dialog just fine – the script was written so that the host and the lumberjacks are supposed to say things that are meant to be funny.  Sadly, the lines were delivered as if they were being read with poor timing and not a hint of comedy.  It was painful to watch!

The premise of the show is for the two teams to compete in lumberjack events like axe throwing and two-man sawing.  All conducted with those unfortunately delivered lines and in the dark recesses of the stage.  We watched in stunned silence.  THIS?  This is an actual show in a Walt Disney World park?  With all sincerity, we’d never seen anything like it anywhere before.

I guess you could say this is only a partial review because the moment those lumberjacks fired up their chainsaws we made a hasty retreat.  If I want to see someone use a chainsaw, I can go outside while Raymond trims low tree branches or cuts down a dead tree for firewood.  I do not, at any time while I’m on a Disney vacation, want to see or hear power tools in use.  How this is considered entertainment, I’ll never understand.

So, there it is.  Epcot’s newest “talent” offering in the Canada Pavilion was not for us.  And every time I use my cell phone, I’m reminded of that sad fact.  I sure hope our local iPhone repair shop offers service on the 6 soon!  Then I can put the whole ugly mess out of my mind once and for all.

Have you seen the new Lumberjack Show?  How did you feel about it?