I’m about to say some painful things. I’m going to make statements you won’t agree with – that’s okay! We can agree to disagree and still be friends. In fact, I would LOVE for you to weigh in on this particular issue either with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. This is what’s so great about Walt Disney World (and the Disney fan community) – everyone enjoys the Disney parks in their own way and for different reasons!
I started thinking about Maelstrom, The Studio Backlot Tour, The American Idol Experience and the swirling rumors about what attractions may be next on the chopping block. I thought – HEY! There are plenty of rides I could happily live without – sacrifices I’d be gladly willing to make to the gods of change. In return, I’d want my most beloved attractions to remain untouched, but I’ll save that list for another day. If the Disney Company needs to free up some real estate for new and exciting innovations, I’d be happy to help with…
1. Stitch’s Great Escape (Tomorrowland, Magic Kingdom) – Sure, I put the most obvious choice first. I figure most of you will agree with this one and I can ease you into the rest of the list. I’m a pretty hearty girl and I actually almost threw up once in this “experience” when I was hit with the chilidog belch. It was touch and go there for a few minutes. Guests are exceptionally well-restrained for the duration and I’m pretty sure that ‘s what saved me – I liked my outfit a lot that day and jerked myself back from the edge by concentrating on what the loss of my lunch would to do my cute ensemble. I hear that Disney’s since removed that part of the attraction, but I still don’t care. I was traumatized and have been unable to bring myself to ever visit Stitch again. 12 minutes of my life I can never get back! I don’t even have a picture of this attraction to show you which speaks volumes about my feelings – I pretty much have a picture of everything.
2. Magic Carpets of Aladdin – What the heck is this thing doing smack in the middle of Adventureland? We’ve got double Dumbo’s now in Magic Kingdom and we don’t need the rugs, spitting camels, or garish color scheme tacky-ing up the beloved home of the Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean. Fly away Carpets, fly away!
3. Mission: SPACE (Future World, Epcot) – I know! The queue is cool, but if you don’t have the right stuff, why bother. If you’ve got to ride the Green, don’t waste your time. If you’re going for the Orange Team, you’d better have some strong constitution. I rode the Orange (before the Green version was invented) and lived to tell about it. Now I can look back fondly – which actually, if they’d go on and close this thing, I could blow up into an even bigger deal. A fish story for the future grandkids. This one begs to be a nostalgic story full of bragging and exaggeration! No matter what happens to it, a memory will remain all it is for me since I’m not planning to ever ride it again.
4. Dinosaur – I ride it, I like it, I can live without it. It’s just meh. I’m not thrilled by it. I don’t think the dinosaurs are a great representation of Disney Imagineering’s best work. It is ever so much better since they turned down the volume and toned down the jerkiness of the ride. I would not shed a single tear if this attraction moved on to make room for something (anything!) more spectacular.
5. Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show – I didn’t just dislike this experience. I loathed it. I thought it was boring. I think I wanted to see more people and fewer vehicles. Some of the stunts were…interesting, but the attraction takes up valuable property in the Studios that could be put to much better use. I haven’t seen the show since Mater and the Cars’ stars joined the fun…not sure even they could make me like it.
Here’s what you should do…for every one on my list you don’t agree with, offer up an attraction to take its place on the pretend chopping block. I’d love to hear your thoughts!